Every night I go to bed happy to die. And every new day I wake up happy to
live one more. If you do not have that feeling something needs to change.
Let us break down these two points.
1. Happy to die
Near to oxymoronic, this should be the state you achieve every day. The
objective of your day should be to justify, to yourself, your continued
existence. Any day failing to accomplish this is a wasted day. Do not construe
this command to mean that you must always be engaging in activities others have
deemed worthwhile. Act as you see fit, as you are the only judge that matters.
For example, I have spent many a day playing video games and watching tv. I
could be learning some new technology or building something, but I did not feel
like it that day. Other people might consider this a wasted day. Their opinion
is irrelevant. I enjoyed that day; I thought that day was great. The point here
is everyday should end with you being satisfied. Satisfied you set out to do
something and accomplished it, satisfied that you enjoyed the day. Only the
satisfied can ever be comfortable with death. This is not to say that you want
to die. It is to say that if you do die, if today was your last day, that you
go to your demise happy with all that you have done. A personal example of
this: I am 23. I have lived a long life. Not by human standards, but by the
standards of other animals. Consider an ant or a fly or a house cat. We must
seem impossibly old to them. In the case of the insects whole generations are
birthed and died before we could speak. Their lives flicker in and out
unnoticed. I have seen a great many things, felt passion and fear, cried and
laughed. I have spent many a day being enriched by my friends. I have built
things, changed and altered the environment. I have lived a full life. Shorter
than some, but no less rich in my estimation. Have I done and seen anything,
no. Do I want to keep living, yes. Would I be sad to die, no.
2. Happy to live one more
The new day is a gift you give to yourself. It is the blank page, the block
of clay, the empty canvas. You do not have to fill it, that is not the point.
The mere fact that you have a chance to. Have an opportunity to create
something, be it your work, your passion, or something else. This is the
happiness of waking up. When you sleep you die. When you wake you are reborn.
This day may be your last, but at least you have something. One more chance to
live. Too often we think in terms of months or years. We allow the days to
slide on inexorably in the hope of a better future. You can make that better
future today, right now, the moment you wake up. You need only recognize the
potential of a new day.
Not all days are like this. I have had far too many where I went to bed
depressed having wasted the day. Plenty of times where I woke up and was
immediately crushed by stress and wanted nothing more to lay down and rot. But
if we let our worst moments define ourselves we could never accomplish great
things.